Being a Christian single can be challenging to say the least. For years I have engaged in many conversations about being single in the church and how to carry yourself as a woman of God. One topic that continues to come up is how to express an interest in a guy without looking desperate or thirsty. This continues to be a challenge among many of the Christian women today.
Should you wait on him to approach you or should you approach him? That is the question! LOL Many people have looked to The book of Ruth for this very answer. I have seen women use it to justify both arguments. I tend to lean more toward waiting for him to approach you. I already know I will be labeled as being old fashioned, but let me explain.
It is true, that Naomi (Ruth's mother-in-law) told Ruth to go to the threshing floor to see Boaz and "uncover his feet, and lie down; and he will tell you what you should do" (Ruth 3:4). However, I don't believe Naomi would have sent her there if Boaz didn't first show favor toward Ruth. From the day he saw her working in the field, he expressed an interest in her (Ruth 2:5-13). I think this is the one thing many women have overlooked. When you approach a man that has not expressed an interest in you, you run the risk of making yourself look desperate.
I have seen some really nice women labeled as being desperate because of their eagerness to "make their presence known" to the object of their affection. I have been there and it doesn't feel good. I think many resort to this way of getting a man's attention because of the fact that there are not many good Christian men available today. It's even more challenging to find a man that is really living for the Lord. These are the men you see after church with a sea of women surrounding them. LOL
With so many women all going after the same men, it can seem like a losing battle. I can sympathize with the men that are actually looking for a wife. Finding a wife in the church out of the sea of women surrounding them probably feels like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unfortunately, some really good guys have also received some unfair labels in their quest for finding love in the church. The search for love in the church is no joke!
When all is said and done, the only thing that will help in this search for love is prayer. Ladies, we need to pray that God will help us to wait for the right man to approach us. Men, you need to pray that God will help you to discern who you should approach and how you should do it. God specializes in divine connections, but we have to be in a place where we can hear Him. This is why we must spend our time of singleness working on our relationship with Him so He can lead us to the right romantic relationship.
~Crystal Harkless
Should you wait on him to approach you or should you approach him? That is the question! LOL Many people have looked to The book of Ruth for this very answer. I have seen women use it to justify both arguments. I tend to lean more toward waiting for him to approach you. I already know I will be labeled as being old fashioned, but let me explain.
It is true, that Naomi (Ruth's mother-in-law) told Ruth to go to the threshing floor to see Boaz and "uncover his feet, and lie down; and he will tell you what you should do" (Ruth 3:4). However, I don't believe Naomi would have sent her there if Boaz didn't first show favor toward Ruth. From the day he saw her working in the field, he expressed an interest in her (Ruth 2:5-13). I think this is the one thing many women have overlooked. When you approach a man that has not expressed an interest in you, you run the risk of making yourself look desperate.
I have seen some really nice women labeled as being desperate because of their eagerness to "make their presence known" to the object of their affection. I have been there and it doesn't feel good. I think many resort to this way of getting a man's attention because of the fact that there are not many good Christian men available today. It's even more challenging to find a man that is really living for the Lord. These are the men you see after church with a sea of women surrounding them. LOL
With so many women all going after the same men, it can seem like a losing battle. I can sympathize with the men that are actually looking for a wife. Finding a wife in the church out of the sea of women surrounding them probably feels like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unfortunately, some really good guys have also received some unfair labels in their quest for finding love in the church. The search for love in the church is no joke!
When all is said and done, the only thing that will help in this search for love is prayer. Ladies, we need to pray that God will help us to wait for the right man to approach us. Men, you need to pray that God will help you to discern who you should approach and how you should do it. God specializes in divine connections, but we have to be in a place where we can hear Him. This is why we must spend our time of singleness working on our relationship with Him so He can lead us to the right romantic relationship.
~Crystal Harkless
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