Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem,
by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer:
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,
until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
I have always had a desire to get married. I have often fantasized about my wedding day and who I would marry. I have thought about the dress I would wear and who my bridesmaids would be. Yes, I have the whole day planned all the way down to the honeymoon! Don't judge me!
As I have gotten older, my thoughts about that day have changed. I have seen too many couples get married and divorced in a matter of years. How could the very couples I saw madly in love at their wedding, now hate each other with a passion. What happened to their vows? What caused them to drift apart?
After hearing about divorce rates being at an all time high, I knew it was time for me to do some research. It was time to prepare myself for the marriage I desired. After reading countless books, I discovered you need more than sex and good looks to make a marriage last. Love is also not enough to keep a marriage together. Before you start writing me nasty letters, please hear me out.
I have found that people fail to do their homework before saying I Do. Singles tend to focus too much on looks and sex. Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe that God will place you with someone you can barely look at! I'm just saying there are so many things that should be taken into consideration before saying I do like a person's beliefs, character, spending habits, goals, etc. People have a tendency to overlook these things especially when sex is involved. It's very hard to remain objective when you have become sexually involved with a person.
If you have a desire to get married, I want to challenge you to use this time to prepare for your spouse. The last thing you want to happen is to meet your mate and not be ready. Take this time to discover who you are and what your purpose is in life. Once you discover that, it will be easier to determine who is a good match for you. You want to marry someone that compliments your purpose and goals in life.
I believe that once you begin to walk in your purpose, God will send you someone to help you in your life's work and vice versa. You will spend more time outside the bedroom, so it's best to make sure you're able to relate to each other in the other areas of life. If you are dating, be intentional about who you are spending your time with. Make sure there's a strong foundation to build on before you start getting serious about a person. If you believe the relationship will not work, don't be afraid to walk away.
I love what the Word says, don't excite love, do not stir it up until you are ready. Even though you may have been waiting for some time, don't be too anxious to get married until you have done your homework. Take the time to stop and ask yourself Am I Ready?
Lord, many of us have been seeking your face for some time concerning our desire to be married. We don't want to do anything outside of your will. Please help us to first trust your perfect timing and to also see what areas we may be weak in that could damage our future marriage. Lord help us to see the person's heart and to look for You in them. Help us to not be anxious, but to wait for you to reveal who the right one is for us. While we wait, reveal to us your purpose for our life and help us to walk in it. If there are any past relationships we are holding on to, please give us the strength to release them so we can embrace the new one you have for us. Lord, I pray you will help us to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage so we can focus on the right things. Keep us and lead us by your Spirit. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.